is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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