wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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