the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize