ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
