Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Randomize
