when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
