So drunk its hurt
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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