we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
