Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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