theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't notice because vodka
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
