dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
