I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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