I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I could fuck to npr.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
