I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize