i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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