i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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