She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
