wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
