A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
