She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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