i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
