just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
