I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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