Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
