frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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