are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
