i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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