He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
