It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
