how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
