I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
