Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
