Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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