Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I smell stomach acid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize