mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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