I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
