i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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