Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
