Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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