we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize