I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
