I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
