I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
