I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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