Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
