Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
