DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize