I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize