yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
