she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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