ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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