is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
