farters have to be the big spoon...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
