I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
