So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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