spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
