Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
