Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
