In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
