you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
