do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
