I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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