i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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