Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
