I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
