He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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