I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
