She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish my penis had a tongue
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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