the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
