also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize