i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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